Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
