Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
