Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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