yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Oh god it's open bar.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
