Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
