I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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