I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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