hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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