I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
