he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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