ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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