This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
