Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
