You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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