Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
