that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
