then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
