he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
we're making bets on your personal life
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
