hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
