Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
