Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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