yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm passing your future prison.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
