Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
even my farts smell like vagina
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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