I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
