I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
