I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
