I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
