I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
