Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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