Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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