Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
