Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
