she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
