I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
