In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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