my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
