smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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