i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
