not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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