he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize