it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
