in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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