Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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