so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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