doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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