The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
