Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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