its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
