Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize