Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
