They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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