This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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