he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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