i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize