dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
