Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
