you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
