well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
