so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
