My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
smell my finger.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
