Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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