what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
