there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
